CHARACTERS: Two mature females
SETTING: Paradise overlooking an invisible dump.

CURTAIN

NAN: What the mischief does she think she’s doing? (Grimaces & listens.) What’s that sound?

JEN: If you don’t want to hear it, you have to be positive about things.

NAN: Humph! What’s she doing, anyway?

JEN: Looks to me like she’s pitching out a bunch of junk.

NAN: That’s not junk!

JEN: Sure! How many peanut butter jars do you need?

NAN: I’m not talking about peanut butter jars. Just look at that!

JEN: She could have made a mat with that. It would have made a nice sunset.

NAN: Mat! You were always making something. That’s too good for a mat.

JEN: Well, if it’s too good for a mat, it’ll really be out of place in this garbage dump, won’t it?

NAN: At least nobody will be walking on it while it’s in here. I wonder what she did with its bag.

JEN: There’s the bag.

NAN: Of all the nerve! She’s ripping it apart and scrunching it up.

JEN: Hah! She threw that right into the fire.

NAN: Damn her. That’s the bag for my wedding dress, you know.

JEN: You always loved pink.

NAN: Not everybody likes blue, you know.

JEN: I wouldn’t know about that.

NAN: There’s the right one! Now the left one. They were my good shoes, you know. The ones I wore on my honeymoon.

JEN: They’re all cracked.

NAN: They’re sixty-five years old….

JEN: What would you do with them?

NAN: She’s standing there pitching all my shoes and stockings right into the flames.

JEN: There goes your purse.

NAN: My purse! She never even looked inside.

JEN: What did you have in there? Money?

NAN: Never mind. I bet she spent that before I even got cold.

JEN: I could have made a nice mat……

NAN: You’re not making any mat from my wedding dress and that is that.

JEN: Too bad she threw it in there.

NAN: Those are pickles. Darn her. That took a lot of work to make those.

JEN: That’s rhubarb relish. That sure smells good.

NAN: Pewh! How’d she get that stinky stuff?

JEN: I made it.

NAN: Did not!

JEN: Did, too! They gave it to you.

NAN: Holy Cow! Now she’s pitching cherries. Cherries, if you please!

JEN: One at a time, too.

NAN: Look at that seagull! He caught that cherry.

JEN: Whose writing is that on that jar?

NAN: I can’t see on that angle.

JEN: There’s a mystery for you, then.

NAN: What’s that?

JEN: Those are quinces! Those are mine! Oh! They’re moldy. I must be here for a long time, now.

NAN: She told me that we didn’t have any more of those quinces.

JEN: Maybe she knew they were moldy. I wish I could get that dress. It would make a really lovely sunset.

NAN: Hmmph!

JEN: Well, it would….just a lovely sunset.

NAN: What’s that? Not my fur coat. If I could only get to her!!!!

JEN: You want to wear it?

NAN: She didn’t even take it out of the bag.

JEN: That’s a real nice tie.

NAN: She’s saving his tie. But she threw my dress in.

JEN: It would have made some nice grass.

NAN: Will you forget the stupid mat!

JEN: It would have been just right with that pink sunset.

NAN: Where’d she get that gaudy blue van?

JEN: Do you think she bought it?

NAN: Waste money, that’s all she ever…….

JEN: It’s a nice van.

NAN: It’s not your money that got wasted.

JEN: My daughter had money enough to buy whatever she wanted to drive.

NAN: Humph! No need to get high and mighty with me, Jen.

JEN: So that’s what you think, is it, Nan?

NAN: So what did your rich daughter do with your wedding dress? Make a mat from it?

JEN: I don’t think so.

NAN: I’ll bet she threw it in the dump, just like my daughter did.

JEN: She kept my old black fox muff.

NAN: I’m talking about your wedding dress.

JEN: Are we going to wait here and see if she comes back?

NAN: I’m not leaving here!

JEN: Well, then, I guess we’re staying put, aren’t we?

NAN: So what happened to it?

JEN: What happened to what?

NAN: Your wedding dress?

JEN: I got married in it.

NAN: Of course, you did. But what did your daughter do to it?

JEN: I think she wore it to something one time. I know she wore my going-away dress once or twice.

NAN: Where to?

JEN: When she was in college.

NAN: College! Smallege! She (gestures) never got to touch my dress before. Well, maybe once.

JEN: Why?

NAN: I changed her tune!

JEN: How’d you do that?

NAN: I never liked that purple going-away dress of yours.

JEN: It was wine crepe de chine.

NAN: Purple with big baggy sleeves.

JEN: Wine with leg o’ mutton sleeves. I loved those sleeves.

NAN: You’re welcome to them and that funny sash. I don’t know….

JEN: I got it because of the sash. Poppa thought it looked just perfect on me.

NAN: And what did Poppa know about dresses? (Listens & shrugs)

JEN:What they cost. He bought the jeweled accessories for me, too.

NAN: Yes. You and Win. Nothing was too good for you two. Now, was it? (Listens)

JEN: What do you hear?

NAN: It’s like a loud bell….. A fire alarm.

JEN: You’d better be careful, Nan.

NAN: Oh, no! You’re not!

JEN: Let’s go and find some music.

NAN: I told you I was staying right here.

JEN: Then, I’m going to look for some music.

NAN: What became of that piano that Poppa bought and you got?

JEN: I don’t know. I’m going…

NAN: You don’t even care!

JEN: Why should I care about that piano when I can have anything I want?

NAN: You always got everything. I wish that sound would stop.(Holding her head.)

JEN: That’s not a good sign around here. Let’s just be quiet for a while.

CURTAIN